Next in our ongoing series of school leader Ennea-type profiles we'll look at Type Two. Twos are commonly known as “Helpers,” “Pleasers,” or “Givers,” but in unhealthy states may also be called “Manipulators.” CLS refers to the Type Two as a “Love-“ or “Acceptance-Seeker” since Twos’ actions are motivated by a desire for love and acceptance.
Support: the Acceptance-Seeker's gift
It is not surprising that many Twos are drawn to the education field’s myriad opportunities to help and assist. (In our experience, Twos make up the single largest Ennea-Type in the ranks of teachers. Naturally, as some teachers migrate to administrative ranks, Twos probably represent a significant portion of administrators as well.) Successful Type Two leaders effectively juggle their healthy and fair support of all school’s stakeholder groups (including students, teachers, staff, and parents). All feel supported by, and satisfied with, an Acceptance-Seeker’s decisions when the leader genuinely articulates a “greater good” message.
Enter a healthy Type Two’s school, and a positive climate is palpable. A visitor might notice bright colors, wall murals, and other cheery, but student age-appropriate, accents. Acceptance-Seekers exude warmth which makes them especially desired for elementary and primary principal or other supervisory positions. (Obviously, though, Type Twos can be effective instructional leaders at all levels because of their desire to build positive relationships.)
The effective, healthy Acceptance-Seeker views her school as a mission field. She is happiest when serving others translates to effective reform, usually via the positive school culture that she has created.
The Type Two’s desire to please can reach beyond the school proper and into the greater school district community. Twos can simultaneously feel the need to support community members, student causes, teacher rights, and superintendent and other central office edicts, not wanting to “disappoint” any faction. When the Two seeks to please everyone, though, imbalance is imminent, and could manifest in any of these scenarios:
- The school instructional program can become overcrowded with initiatives because the Two wants to please central office supervisors who have stakes in them.
- The Two can easily neglect her own needs, bypassing opportunities for advancement to assuage an overpowering sense of obligation to those in her current situation.
- And obviously, out of attempts to please all, no one feels satisfied. The Acceptance-Seeker nears burnout. School climate and culture falter; student learning soon follows.
Seeking acceptance in return
For all the support and love that the Two gives, he seeks love and support in return. Since Twos are part of the “Feeling” or “Heart” Center (along with Types Three and Four) his emotions can run high. And with Twos, those emotions are visible to others, and can become aggressive. When love and support is not perceived as returned – when the Acceptance-Seeker is not receiving what he feels is his due – the Two “goes to” Eight. All that has been given has not been reciprocated, so the Acceptance-Seeker feels betrayed and withdraws his own love and support (often reacting in passive aggressive ways to alert others that his needs are not being met).
The Acceptance-Seeker may also fall into the trap of using his support as a manipulation tool, implying, or explicitly stating, this perceived right to an emotional "payoff" to others. This “tit-for-tat” mentality is as common in schools and school district central offices as it is in corporate America. And it is just as toxic to authentic, collegial engagement and workplace culture.
Practices for wholeness: Practicing unconditional love of others and self
To maximize their health and effectiveness, Twos should first practice self-awareness exercises. The Acceptance-Seeker should pinpoint when she is “doing” or “giving” to manipulate or seek emotional compensation. The Two leader can then ask herself, “What triggered that feeling?” Identifying a trigger, or an impetus, can help bring the Two back to center.
Taking time for any mindfulness practice is important for the Acceptance-Seeker. In fact, taking time to give to self –- to not simply ask, but also to answer the question, “What do I need right now?” –- is important for the Two. Often, the Acceptance-Seeker’s language is peppered with references to giving to, or serving, others. It is important for the Two leader to realize that doing for self is important, too.
When Twos maintain balance and wholeness by making time for themselves, this benefits the entire school community. Then all, including the leader herself, can appreciate the Acceptance-seeker’s gift of service.
Look for additional profiles of other Enneagram Types as school leaders in coming weeks. For previous Type profiles, look here. For a complete list of Enneagram resources, check the Enneagram links on the left-hand side of this page, and visit our Services page to learn about the wide range of CLS workshops available for leadership and professional development.
Comments